i haven't posted in a long time and i must admit most of the reason lately has been because i'm dreading catching back up....so i'm just not going to...i'm gonna start w/what is on my mind now

i had dinner tonight with a friend from high school and was instantly hit with a wave of the southern realities. i cannot stand being home. i have to jump back into the closet head first and be cautious about making people uncomfortable. i feel myself falling into a depressed state just thinking about it all, so i'm gonna go jump in the pool/jacuzzi (one or the other). i don't need to think right now....

just want to clarify, the friend in the last post is not a lesbian. :) she is a great friend who reacted in one of the most positive ways to my sexuality. i'm from mississippi, and this does not happen often.

my weekend was GREAT. saturday i went over to my student's house and ran a therapy session. afterwards, i went over to linda's house and we went to a field in concord to play soccer. her brother and friend came out and we hit and fielded some baseballs. it was a lot of fun. i was catching with a right-handed glove which was difficult as i am left-handed. we went to grab a sandwich from a nearby shop and then ate them in the minutemen national park. this park is so nice. while we were there, this little girl lost her ball in the river. she was so upset about it. anyways...linda saved the day by hiking out to this rock that the ball passed right by. after that, we went back to the soccer field and i took some shots on her. the diesal cafe, in somerville, was our next stop. all gay people work behind the counter. it was such a cool place. i almost hit a biker on my way home....and that was more or less my night.

yesterday, linda and i went to the newport folk festival to see (among others) dar williams and melissa ferrick. we spent like 7 hours or something crazy getting skin cancer from the sun. anyways...

last night, my ex called me after three weeks of no contact. i was sound asleep when she called and thus cannot remember most of the conversation. i remember her saying that it was nice to hear my voice (x3) and that she was thinking about tennessee (?!?). have no clue what she meant. i was too out of it to ask.

that's it for now. kate comes in town tonight around 7......

HER: goodnight stace, i want to hear about your chick though. hahahahahaha
HER: I AM A LESBIAN.
HER: ahahahahahahha
ME: haha you know its a girl
HER: j/k.
ME: hahahah
ME: damn
HER: have you read the vagina monologues?
ME: i saw it
ME: my school did it
ME: it kicks ass
ME: :-)
HER: welll well well i loved it
ME: LOVED IT
HER: i read it all at once
ME: did you read or see it?
ME: yea
HER: i laughed and laughed. i read it.
HER: i wanted to see it too
ME: i cried
ME: and laughed
HER: anyway i thought of you
ME: as you should
ME: ahha
ME: as probably everyone in columbus, ms would
ME: ahhaha
ME: hopefully besides my family
ME: :-(
ME: :-) oops
HER: nononononono actually i thought i love vagina's. maybe i am a lesbian.
ME: anyways....have fun tomorrow
HER: ok, you too.
ME: hahahahhaahhah
HER: goodnight.
ME: ok
ME: night

ok...don't have much to say...just wanted to share my conversation with a friend from high school....

i just found this song that is having an amazing effect on me. i will type the lyrics now...

"you’ve got some kind of nerve
coming back here for more
like i’m just going drop everything i’m doing
so you can humiliate me a little more
you’ve got some kind of nerve

you got some kind of ego
yeah for looking at me like that
like your eyes are going to make me crawl back to you
like what am I supposed to do now, just forgive you?

but baby i’m done
i’m done with you
yeah baby i’m done
i’m finally done with you
so if you think that you might have made some sort of mistake
in leaving me
well guess what
you’re too late

you got some kind of mouth
for talking to me like that
bragging about your Hollywood friends
like that’s going make me want you again
makes me think you know that you never even knew me
makes me understand
that the whole time it was you
just using me

but baby i’m done
i’m done with you
yeah baby i’m done
i’m finally done with you
so if you think that you might have made some sort of mistake
in leaving me
well guess what
you’re too late
i’m done with you
yeah baby i’m done
i’m finally done with you
so if you think that you might have made some sort of mistake
in leaving me
well guess what
too late
you're too late
you're too late
you're too late"
Some Kind of Nerve by Melissa Ferrick

---how i feel about my ex and soooo happy about it.

first off, i added a new feature to my journal. if you notice, at the end of every entry is a link that allows you to comment on my entries. make use of this feature. i'm excited about hearing what you have to say :)

it has been a good week for me at work. my student had a good day at school on tuesday. after school, we headed over to waltham to her gym class. she was so happy the entire day. nothing significant happened at school yesterday...i was scheduled to run the therapy session in the afternoon. this went exceptionally well.

see...in ABA therapy, the student earns pennies for correct responses until s/he has earned all 6/8 (with me). after earning all the pennies, he/she earns a token (1 out of 3 for me) and a reinforcer for a couple minutes. reinforcers are often small toys like gooze or a can of worms. then the therapist takes away the reinforcer and has the student earn the pennies again. another token is issued upon completion of each penny trial. once all three tokens are earned the student is allowed to watch a video (or other super-reinforcing toy). this process is repeated for a two hour session (with me).

well, yesterday during therapy, my student was VERY excited about earning pennies. she asked if she could clean up the reinforcer and earn it again. i was so shocked by this that i did not know what to do. the session was so amazing. she was very into completing the programs. to let you know how odd this was, under normal circumstances, my student might throw a tantrum when asked to clean up the reinforcer. hm...

kate and i have made plans for friday night. i got us tickets to the blue man group. it'll be my third time seeing them, but i'm still really excited about it for a few reasons. first, our seats are in the middle of the fifth row--so close that we have to wear ponchos to ensure that our clothes do not get paint on them. secondly, the blue man group is amazing. most importantly though, i know kate is going to love the show...and to share the experience with her will give me a feeling of sheer happiness. too bad kate reads my entries :)...i have more to say, but i don't want to make the moment any less than is attainable....

today was easy at school. we watched pinocchio for a third of the time i was there--no prompting needed. linda and christina asked me to go with them to a pool party w/some others from work tonight, but i got lazy and decided not to go. otherwise, today i have been having lots of fun by myself. (kate...i'm wishing i had saved our conversation from earlier about the shower) but i will write about it now...

i got in the shower this afternoon after my nap...haha. i left the door to the bathroom open because i wanted to hear my snoop dogg that was playing in my room. so, when i was finished doing everything i had to do in the shower i just started dancing. i was breaking it down! for a solid five minutes. and i didn't even realize it. ahah...when i came to this realization, i about fell over laughing. haha...things like this have been happening to me all day today. i'm finding humor in everything. perhaps this is a sign of true happiness with my life at present? i think so....

yesterday i found a great site!! here it is...the rap dictionary. thanks to this site, my roomate, rosilyn, and i will have great topics for our radio show next year at school. i guess i've been browsing the net a lot lately. i took a lot of tests at the spark...

purity test: 37% pure

gender test: definately female

gay test: 60% gay

sex test: will sleep with 12 more people in my lifetime (7 female, 5 male--the male part being complete bullshit) haha

well my plans for the remainder of the night are undetermined. so i'm off to the heat of my apartment to waste time.