back at sewanee after an uneventful thanksgiving break...my mom's house went well. no run-ins with jim (the step-dad). i actually made a conscious effort to socialize with him. i'm very proud of my accomplishing such a feat. i also addressed a problem i have with my sister in a civil manner. things in the berry family are looking good--problems are being solved all-around.

i asked linda how i scared her, to which she replied, "my feelings for you scare me....(pause)....my feelings and the place that you are in your life." there seemed to be a long silence that i could not break with words for i had nothing to say. she told me that, although she was scared, she trusts me to make a logical decision. we talked that night from 2 am to 4 am. i was not able to fall asleep until 6 am. thoughts haunted me all night as to what i should do with our situation. i do not want to hurt her. i understand that we are in different places in our lives. she is nearing the point of settling down seriously with someone; whereas, i am in college and "living it up" or something of that nature. if i enter into a relationship with her, i will need to teleport myself to the place that she is in her life. settling down!? am i ready to stare that down with linda? these are decisions that must be made before christmas. it is comforting that she understands how huge of a deal it would be for me to make that committment. do i need to clarify again?--i like linda...A LOT!

i have a huge presentation tomorrow on the neurological correlates of autism. 75 minutes long. i am no where near prepared for what lies ahead. perhaps i will skip my two classes tomorrow morning to work on it...