she took it well. her only reaction was "oh, i understand." to which i responded, "you DO?" "i mean, i'm not GAY, but i understand." laughs broke my tension.

coming out to my sister was painless. i'm leaving in about an hour and a half for nashville, where i will first meet a friend for dinner. after that, debbi and i will see each other for the first time with her knowing i'm a lesbian. hopefully it won't be too akward of an experience.

i am falling. falling into the mouth of something so big that i can hardly wait to get to the bottom. for--the bottom holds the key to happiness. let me explain. i've been thinking a lot about volcanos. my life as a volcano. my life thus far has been spent climbing to the top of the volcano. each time the volcano erupts, i must run back down to safety from the blazing fires. finally i stand at the top of the monster, peering down into its mouth, wondering what it holds for me. i begin to fall in. not scared. for, the person sucking me in is beautiful. she brings me strength in demanding a place for myself, and our love, in the world that up until now has caused me to retreat. our love will heat the eruptions of my life's volcano from within its mouth. i will no longer have to run from the eruption, for love has found me and i have found love. love brought me into this world as who i am. i will no longer hide my identity because this world wants me to, and linda has shown me that. thank you linda...

"real is what we make it," she tells me. i exit this day wondering what is being made...