lately, i've been instant messaging with my only real bisexual friend, kate. we've been having great conversations about past relationships, music, surprising attractions, and opening up

first, past relationships--why is it so hard to get over old girlfriends/boyfriends? my present situation is a messy one that wraps, twists, and folds over itself infinately many times over. so i won't get into it, but i do want to say that jealousy is the root of all evil. i've been trying to mentally experience myself in the third person ever since the entry from 7 july. i've found that my jealousy is the reason for most of my flawed actions/thoughts. as of today, i am making a conscious effort to redirect my jealous feelings. i've found that its a pretty hard task, and i will keep you informed on how i've managed to succeed (hopefully) in doing this....

music--ani rocks. i failed at an attempt to send her some of my sekou sundiata songs over aim. she told me about norah jones, who opened the nashville indigo girls show that kate went to. (BTW norah jones is hot!)

suprising attractions--kate and i have both at a lack of words for our being attracted to butch girls. maybe one or two in particular...(won't share that here :)

opening up--i think most people, me especially, have a hard time opening up (or letting down their gaurds). once people finally do reach out for others, it is a travesty for the 'others' to half-ass listen. i wish the world were better listeners. i often worry that my true listening skills are lacking....that i will not be able to respond in the way needed. i often fear that i will make the turtle sink back into his shell when someone opens up to me (another one of my off the wall analogies). guess i'll just have to work on this as the situations arise...

on a lighter note--i've been tripping a lot lately. i don't know what the hell my problem is. normally when i trip, i don't get too embarassed, but since i've been in boston i just feel like a 1000 more people are watching when i trip...and i get quite embarassed. haha...no point to telling that story

i had a weird detailed thought today while driving to work. i began wondering what radio stations other people were listening to. i briefly thought it would be the coolest thing in the world to have the supernatural power to see (on some sort of monitor hovering each car) what station they were on. odd huh? the thought goes on...i got tired of staring at passing cars to see if anyone was singing along with the song that was on "my" station, so i started thinking about how cool it would be if i could see people thoughts on the same "car-hovering" monitors. this soon became the coolest supernatural power to have....don't ask...i can't explain.