seems that i have allowed myself to enter a deep denial of the situation. i have completely detached and need to come back to reality....

my parents are on their way tomorrow to randomly drug test my brother. we suspect that he is in them deep as his personality has completed changed over the past month. drugs were found in his car last weekend and other people's lives are being effected by his behavior. he has shown little to no remorse....

he has tried to manipulate every member of the family, has detached himself from me, and is rarely at home. when he does come home, he gets his dog and goes straight to bed, refusing to look at me in the eyes for fear of what i might see.

its a serious situation...is my denial a coping skill that i picked up the last time all this happened? or should i put great effort into emotionally understanding it?

i am once again lost and out of harmony with myself and my environment.

my brother may be gone tomorrow...back in rehab. i think its bad now...what if that happens?...