written entry from a few days ago:

on this day 11 years ago, i had open-heart surgery. this thought, which came only as i wrote the date, makes me realize that my complaints/troubles below are petty...and i feel thankful for my life.

the situations with corinne and linda are clashing in every way imaginable. like today, i think linda is going to call me after work to see if i want to go do something. so i called corinne first (note: i had to make up an excuse to call her) to see if she was at work/busy this afternoon. corinne is working, so now i will hang out with linda if she calls. i feel so shitty...

i do not want to be this person!

i need to plan out a conversation to have w/linda. BUT i don't know what i want. AND i don't know how long it is going to take to figure it out.

at this point, i feel that one month is a good time to leave. i can tell them both that i can't committ/be exclusive to either.

there is a huge diff. in how i feel about them. with linda its more serious/emotional (until recently) corinne is fun and carefree. i'm looking for fun in my last month here. i think i also have some stored anger w/linda and the whole jess situation.

i think about corinne a lot more than linda these days. i think that i'm yearning for excitement. i can hardly wait for sunday (ferrick with corinne).

feelings for linda have altered. the reason for this is haunting me.

how can i have a talk with her if i am so lost?

I AM LOST!